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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23060908">Make Me Feel This Way (somehow)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/allonsy_gabriel/pseuds/allonsy_gabriel'>allonsy_gabriel</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Adventure Zone (Podcast)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Dorks in Love, Feelings, Fluff, Food Crimes, Gay, Idiots in Love, Light Angst, Love, M/M, Other, Ridiculous, Sappy, Self-Indulgent, Sibling Bonding, Sibling Love, Sweet, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, and is losing his absolute shit, and now he's in love with kravitz, kravitz is a NERD, taako is on the aro spectrum, taako tries to figure out romantic love: the fic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 07:20:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,814</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23060908</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/allonsy_gabriel/pseuds/allonsy_gabriel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Taako isn't used to being in love. Actually, up until a few months ago, he wasn't used to love, period, what with the memory of his entire family being erased from his brain and all.</p><p>But even then, even when he was constantly surrounded by the sort of love strong enough to power a spaceship, he'd never been in love.</p><p> </p><p>(Or, The One Where Taako's Trying To Figure Out How To Be In Love)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kravitz/Taako (The Adventure Zone), Lup &amp; Taako (The Adventure Zone)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>129</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Make Me Feel This Way (somehow)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>SOMEDAY i will stop writing plotless bullshit taakitz fluff but today is not that day<br/>(and tomorrow doesn't look all that good, either)</p><p>so i've put taako on the aro spectrum, here, just because i felt like it and as someone who's (probably) grey-aro, i felt the need to write some rep. that being said, this is one grey-aro person's take on the whole fucking Thing, so like, if it feels Off to you for some reason, keep that in mind. please.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Taako isn't used to being in love. Actually, up until a few months ago, he wasn't used to love, </span>
  <em>
    <span>period</span>
  </em>
  <span>, what with the memory of his entire family being erased from his brain and all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But even then, even when he was constantly surrounded by the sort of love strong enough to power a spaceship, he'd never been </span>
  <em>
    <span>in love</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn't mind it, of course. He had everything he needed, he didn't—so what if there wasn't any romance in the ol' Taako forecast? That was fine. There were still whole planes full of hot guys Taako could utilize in case of any, uh, </span>
  <em>
    <span>primal urges</span>
  </em>
  <span>, so </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>wasn't a problem, and—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taako just wasn't a romance dude, y'know? And it was probably for the best, what with the ever-present, annual threat of armageddon looming over their heads.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sazed hadn't understood, but it turns out Sazed was, uh, an actual garbage fire of a person, so no fucking loss there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Point is, Taako doesn't know what the fuck is happening when he looks at Kravitz and feels his heart doing fucking handsprings in his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kravitz was—he was supposed to be another fling. Another hot guy who Taako flirted with, maybe wined and dined a little bit, and got a few good lays out of. A potential </span>
  <em>
    <span>friends with benefits </span>
  </em>
  <span>situation, as long as Krav was capable of keeping his feelings out of it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then Taako went and got his feelings thoroughly </span>
  <em>
    <span>in it</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And it’s great, for the most part. Kravitz is, apparently, </span>
  <em>
    <span>also </span>
  </em>
  <span>up to his semi-pointy little half-elf ears in mushy gushy emotions, which is a fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>relief</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Taako couldn’t remember ever being as terrified as he was in that split second between him admitting he’s, uh, fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>in love with Death</span>
  </em>
  <span> and Death saying that oh, yeah, turns out he’s in love with Taako, too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(Then again, there’s a lot Taako couldn’t remember, at that point.)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking back, it’s a stupid fear. Of course, Krav is in love with him. It’s obvious, natch. No sweat. What’s not to love?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(Taako has a list, both in alphabetical order and order of importance, that covers everything from </span>
  <em>
    <span>he always forgets to refill the coffee pot after he drinks the last cup</span>
  </em>
  <span> to </span>
  <em>
    <span>he never folds his clothes </span>
  </em>
  <span>to </span>
  <em>
    <span>he’s selfish and egotistical and callous and untrusting and…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s a long list.)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lup didn’t really get it, at first, which is understandable (she enters umbrella with the knowledge that brother is comfortably aromantic, she exits umbrella to find said brother professing his unending love to the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Grim fucking Reaper</span>
  </em>
  <span>) and also </span>
  <em>
    <span>hella fucking painful</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Lup should be there when he realises it, when he’s panicking, when he’s giddy and horrified and stress baking in the B.o.B. kitchen at three in the godsdamn morning. Lup should the first to know, not the last, but it’s cool, now. She sits as well as a lich </span>
  <em>
    <span>can</span>
  </em>
  <span> sit and listens to Taako gush about Kravitz’s laugh and his smile and the way he makes Taako feel like the world is </span>
  <em>
    <span>better</span>
  </em>
  <span>, the way he makes Taako’s heart light, bright and weightless.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She says she’s just returning the favour after so many years of Taako dealing with her admittedly disgusting feelings for one Barold J. Bluejeans, scientist, necromancer, and denim enthusiast.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Taako still—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taako doesn’t know what to </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’ll be walking around, living his own fucking life, and then he’ll see something or hear something or remember something, and then </span>
  <em>
    <span>boom</span>
  </em>
  <span>! He’ll be </span>
  <em>
    <span>physically knocked back </span>
  </em>
  <span>by the fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>tsunami </span>
  </em>
  <span>of affection he feels for one ridiculous, dorky, gorgeous reaper.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Honestly, he doesn’t know how people live like this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He can’t even get anything done because he’s constantly distracted by thoughts of warm red eyes and dimpled cheeks and perfect jawlines and argyle socks and stupid tie collections and beautiful singing voices and bad dance moves and a love for terrible jokes, and—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you people </span>
  <em>
    <span>cope</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” he asks from where he’s sprawled across his sister’s chaise-lounge, his head in her spectral lap.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wh—with Barry’s insistence that I make him a </span>
  <em>
    <span>grape cake</span>
  </em>
  <span>? Taako, you’ve lived with us for </span>
  <em>
    <span>literally </span>
  </em>
  <span>centuries, you know there’s no </span>
  <em>
    <span>coping</span>
  </em>
  <span> with that. There’s only constant nightmares and prayers that one day he sees the error of his ways,” Lup replies, and Taako realises that, oh yeah, they </span>
  <em>
    <span>were </span>
  </em>
  <span>talking about Barry’s ungodly fascination with grape-flavoured birthday deserts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well yeah, </span>
  <em>
    <span>obviously</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Taako says, rolling his eyes. “I meant—I meant how do you people cope with, like, the ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>in love’</span>
  </em>
  <span> shit? Like, I—it’s been eight months, </span>
  <em>
    <span>tops</span>
  </em>
  <span>, since me and Krav started—since we started doing </span>
  <em>
    <span>whatever the hell it is we’re doing, here</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and I—this is </span>
  <em>
    <span>sickening</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Lup. I can barely function. I hate it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“One, I think what you and Kravitz are doing is usually called </span>
  <em>
    <span>dating</span>
  </em>
  <span>—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gross. Terrible. Absolutely not.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And two, you </span>
  <em>
    <span>definitely </span>
  </em>
  <span>don’t hate it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How the fuck do </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> know, Lulu? You don’t—you can’t read my thoughts! We tried that, remember? There’s—it doesn’t work, even </span>
  <em>
    <span>if</span>
  </em>
  <span> you are currently playing Casper the Friendly Lich—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>smiling</span>
  </em>
  <span>, idiot,” Lup interrupts because she’s fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>rude</span>
  </em>
  <span> and—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taako </span>
  <em>
    <span>is </span>
  </em>
  <span>smiling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, but that doesn’t answer my </span>
  <em>
    <span>question</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he insists. “You—you’ve been doing this for a fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>long-ass time</span>
  </em>
  <span>, how do you—what the fuck is this? How do you </span>
  <em>
    <span>handle it</span>
  </em>
  <span>? Because someday I want to be able to look irises without my brain automatically going, ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh, those are Kravitz’s favourite flowers, maybe I should buy him some because then he’ll smile and seeing him happy has somehow become, like, the number two most important thing in my actual life</span>
  </em>
  <span>.’”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lup stares at him as best she can without, like, eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How many flowers have you bought Kravitz, Taako?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not important.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I think it </span>
  <em>
    <span>defo </span>
  </em>
  <span>is, bro-bro.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taako glares at her because </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span>, this is cruel and unusual punishment, before sighing and looking away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Twelve.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What was that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Twelve</span>
  </em>
  <span>, okay? Fucking—twelve. There’s a lady at the farmers’ market who—look, that’s not the—that’s not the fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>point</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Lu. The point is I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>losing my fucking mind</span>
  </em>
  <span>, here, and I just need to know how to </span>
  <em>
    <span>deal</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lup laughs at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lup laughs at him, and Taako really wishes she was fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>corporeal </span>
  </em>
  <span>right now so he could </span>
  <em>
    <span>punch her in the fucking face</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(Face-punching is actually close to the bottom of the list of </span>
  <em>
    <span>Things Taako’s Going To Do When Lup Has Her Body Back</span>
  </em>
  <span>—number one is just </span>
  <em>
    <span>hugs</span>
  </em>
  <span>, number two is </span>
  <em>
    <span>cry, probably</span>
  </em>
  <span>, three is </span>
  <em>
    <span>eat lots of food</span>
  </em>
  <span> and four is </span>
  <em>
    <span>nap</span>
  </em>
  <span>, which leaves face-punching at </span>
  <em>
    <span>at best </span>
  </em>
  <span>number five, so.)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, Taako. Poor, sweet, innocent Taako—"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I've </span>
  <em>
    <span>killed people</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Lup—"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Pure and naive and untouched—"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And I'm </span>
  <em>
    <span>pretty damn sure </span>
  </em>
  <span>I've fucked more people than you—"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Unknowing in the ways of romance—"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay, actually, that one tracks."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Taako, babe…" Lup says with a sigh, and Taako can </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel </span>
  </em>
  <span>the sappy expression on her ghostly face even if he can't see it. "I'm not going to say this is </span>
  <em>
    <span>it</span>
  </em>
  <span>, y'know? I'm not going to say you're going to feel this way forever, but don't wish this away, y'feel? It only gets harder from here, my dude. Not—I'm not saying it gets </span>
  <em>
    <span>worse</span>
  </em>
  <span>, gods no, but… this stupid, mushy feeling you've got right now? Enjoy it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Taako sighs because…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't—I don't actually hate it, Lulu. I just… it's different, and it's hard, and it's so </span>
  <em>
    <span>fucking </span>
  </em>
  <span>scary. Caring about someone who's not—who's not </span>
  <em>
    <span>us</span>
  </em>
  <span>, it's… terrifying."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know," Lup says, and that's it, for a while, and then, "But, like, it's nice, isn't it? Being in love? Having him around? Knowing he's—knowing he's here for the long haul?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taako remembers the way Kravitz looks in the mornings, still asleep, sprawled out across their mattress, looking peaceful and serene and soft. He recalls the way Kravitz's hands will twitch while he listens to music, fingers moving in a smooth </span>
  <em>
    <span>1-2-3-4</span>
  </em>
  <span> without Kravitz even noticing. He thinks about Kravitz cradling Joaquin the cat to his chest, about him covered in the pale blue paint they used to cover the walls of Angus' room, about the feel of his hands on Taako's waist and his cheek and his—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taako grins. "Oh hell yeah," he replies, and he knows he looks sappy as fuck as he says it, but, in a funny turn of events, he finds he literally does not </span>
  <em>
    <span>fucking </span>
  </em>
  <span>care. "It fucking slaps."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re a fucking dork, you know that, right?” Lup asks, and Taako flips her off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Pot? This is Kettle. You’re black,” Taako shoots back with a roll of his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lup laughs and Taako can’t help the wide, beaming smile that splits his face because this?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This is easy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This is normal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This is good.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not that Kravitz isn’t good, he is, he’s excellent, kind and caring and hilarious and kinda a dick in the best possible way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And, like, that freaks Taako the fuck out, too. Like, these sorts of things don’t just fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>happen</span>
  </em>
  <span>, not in real life and certainly not to Taako, and that is—was—had been—fine. Things were fine, and then Kravitz showed up and he’s so </span>
  <em>
    <span>good</span>
  </em>
  <span> and now Taako is having </span>
  <em>
    <span>feelings</span>
  </em>
  <span> and those feelings are making him </span>
  <em>
    <span>stupid</span>
  </em>
  <span> and </span>
  <em>
    <span>soft</span>
  </em>
  <span> and </span>
  <em>
    <span>scared</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Scared of losing Kravitz (which is dumb because Kravitz is </span>
  <em>
    <span>literally</span>
  </em>
  <span> immortal), scared of Kravitz leaving (which is dumb because all Kravitz talks about is how much he loves Taako, and he’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>constantly </span>
  </em>
  <span>doing, like, the </span>
  <em>
    <span>sappiest</span>
  </em>
  <span> shit), scared of being vulnerable in front of someone new (which is dumb because Lup is back, Lup is here, again, and will </span>
  <em>
    <span>absolutely</span>
  </em>
  <span> wreck Kravitz’s shit if he tries anything, which he </span>
  <em>
    <span>won’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> because Kravitz is, again, </span>
  <em>
    <span>good</span>
  </em>
  <span>). Taako is just...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Scared.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t know what the </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck </span>
  </em>
  <span>he’s doing or how the </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck </span>
  </em>
  <span>to handle it, and he is, apparently, supposed to just </span>
  <em>
    <span>enjoy the fucking ride</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and he is, for the most part, but he’s also fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>terrified</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Taako’s something of a coward, but he’s also selfish and clingy, so…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Deep thoughts?” Lup asks, and Taako hums in agreement. “You good with talking or nah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m good. Y’know, if we made, like, a </span>
  <em>
    <span>wine </span>
  </em>
  <span>cake… wine has grapes in it—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. No, absolutely not. We’re not encouraging my husband’s food crimes—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I once saw Kravitz put a fantasy Kraft single between two fantasy Tyson chicken nuggets and call it </span>
  <em>
    <span>chicken parmesan</span>
  </em>
  <span>, so check your fucking privilege.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lup winces. “That’s rough, babe. And he’s the one you fell in love with?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taako considers it for a moment because it </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> wack as hell and he really </span>
  <em>
    <span>doesn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> have a single fucking clue, but in the end, he smiles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” he says. “Yeah, he is.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>tell me what you think, but know that if i see ANY discourse in the comments vis a vis aro/ace identities i will politely lose my FUCKING mind, so like. don't do that.</p><p>find me on tumblr @allonsy-gabriel</p></blockquote></div></div>
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